TMI warning – this post is vulgar, and graphic!
One thing I haven’t talked about is I am a mom. I have 2 WONDERFUL sons. They are 20 & 22. They are handsome.
Chad - Age 18 (he is 20 now)
Jacob - Age 22 and his gf of 5 1/2 years Sabra
See. Told you they
were handsome!
And they are amazing.
Yes, every mom says that.
My boys were both good size babies. My first born, Jacob Dean was born January
31, 1994 weighing in at 8lb 10oz. Chad
William came 26 months later on March 26, 1996 at a whopping 9lb 14oz. After Chad’s birth I was diagnosed with
fibroids and varicose veins on and around my uterus. My uterus, cervix and one
ovary were removed in August 1997 when I was 26 years old.
Now as other mothers know laughing, coughing, jumping, and
sneezing can be an adventure. Add the
fact that you had larger babies, and you are over-weight and you don’t have a
uterus to hold up the bladder it’s the perfect storm!
I met my husband Monty online in July 2009. In late September I got bronchitis. With bronchitis comes heavy coughing. With heavy coughing came lots of
leaking. I was having to wear
depends. Yeah…….that is sooooooo sexy!
Just starting to date someone and you are wearing depends! Explain that I dare you! Obviously it all worked out because he did
propose a year later and has stuck by my side through all my health
issues. He is a trooper!
2012. I am TIRED of
peeing myself all the time. There isn’t much I can do to stop myself from
peeing myself. I did kegels until the
cows came home. And nothing was helping!
When I had my physical my doctor referred me to physical
therapy. Yes, physical therapy. I went to my first appointment in comfy
clothes as suggested wondering what exactly are they going to make me do. They had me do deep breathing exercises.
Stomach breathing.
Then I was given a small round object. It was about the size of a nickel and about
as thick as a cell phone. It was
attached to a long wire. This was to be
inserted into my vagina. This would be
attached to a machine and then I would do my kegels and the machine would
record the strength and intensity of them while a lady watched me. Fun times.
I was told that I had very strong muscles and that wasn’t my problem. So
I was referred to an urologist.
Off to the urologist I go.
They have you drink a specified amount of water in their waiting
room. I don’t remember how much it
was. Then, you go in and use the
restroom, and then they do an ultrasound to see if you emptied your bladder
completely. Up into stirrups, and they “cough”.
Seriously?? I thought that was for guys?
Turn your head and cough. So I do
as I am told and proceed to pee everywhere.
Yeah…fun times. I am told I need bladder neck suspension surgery. Remember in my last post when I told you to
youtube knee replacement surgery. DO. NOT. YOUTUBE. THIS. SURGERY. You will
never sleep again, especially if you have to have this surgery.
This surgery is done via your vagina and several small
incisions in your tummy. Good
times. The reason I was given for
needing it was because my bladder had basically fallen over backwards because
my uterus was no longer there to hold it up in place, thereby stretching the
bladder neck. Picture this. You blow up
a balloon. You stretch out the neck of
the balloon. What happens? The hair
slowly leaks out, but when put under pressure (weight, cough, sneeze etc in
human cases) the air (urine in human cases) squirts out). This makes complete sense to me!
I had my mom come with me for my pre-op appointment, because
she would be taking care of me when I went home. This surgery is a same day procedure, but you
do go home with a catheter for 2-3 days.
My mom is a retired nurse and I volunteered her to help with dealing
with this. What I was not expecting to
happen at this appointment was to be up in stirrups and to have the doctor say,
see mom, come look at this! Go ahead –
COUGH. See how everything bulges out
like a moose knuckle? It’s not supposed
to do that. We are going to stuff it back it where it belongs. Ummmm. Thanks? My mom hasn’t see my cooter since I
was baby thank you very much and I doubt she needed to see the moose knuckle
version of it. HAHA. OH well.
Then, we get the pants back on and get talking about life
after surgery and post-op care. He says,
so I see here you have been married less than a year. Yes. That is correct. Well, you are practically a newlywed he
says. My mom is still sitting beside me
at this time. You tell your husband he
can give you all the orgasms he wants, but he can’t stick anything inside you
for 8 weeks. You are going to be too
sore, and your stitches will need time to heal.
Oh boy! I am thankful
I am 40 something years old and am a very open person, and not all that shy. My
mom, of course, being a retired nurse wasn’t bothered at all either.
The day of the surgery the doctor told my husband the same
thing. My poor husband though IS
shy. And the doctor added, now you’re an
awfully big man (he stand 6’6” and weighs over 350 pounds), you don’t go
sticking anything up in there and go hurting that girl, but go ahead and give
her all the orgasms you want.
Post op for this surgery isn’t all that fun. No lifting anything over 5 pounds for 6-8
weeks. It was slightly more painful than
I thought it would be, but I am so grateful that I had it done. No more peeing when I cough, run, walk fast,
jump, sneeze, fart, etc. I can laugh at
jokes and not worry that I will be the reason every one continues to laugh
because I’ve peed my pants.
In short, this was the best surgery ever, so far. Hoping the gastric surgery will be the best
one.
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