Monty - My love, My partner and other sappy crap

Some of you reading this blog know my husband Monty, and some do not.  He did not know I was writing a blog.  I told him I was writing a blog, and then I made it public before sharing it with him.  He has been mentioned several times in my blog, and there were personal things in there about him. I’m not sorry for writing what I did, because like I told him, we need to get real, and we need to own who and what we are. I am sorry for not letting him have a chance to read my blog before everyone else did though.  I would never want to hurt Monty on purpose. 

I met Monty online.  I had a profile on a website called PlentyOfFish. I had some pictures of myself and in my profile clearly stated I was a big woman BBW – big beautiful woman, and that I was comfortable and confident in my size (mostly true). I also said if you didn’t have a picture don’t bother writing to me HAHA.  Anyways, you could see who viewed your profile. So I saw this profile had viewed my profile and I viewed his.  It said he was over 6’4” (that’s as tall as the site listed) and his body type I think said heavyset, or full-figured or whatever that category says.  He liked what his profile had to say, so I wrote to him.  I figured why not.  I said, so I see you viewed my profile, but you didn’t write to me.  Didn’t like what you saw?  Or something like that?  I don’t quite remember.

He wrote back, and said that he did like what he saw, but he didn’t write because he didn’t have a picture.  This all started on July 11, 2009.  We chatted back and forth via their email system for a bit then eventually switch to Yahoo IM and stayed up some ungodly hour in the morning chatting. In that first conversation I told him I was divorced, and I told him I had cheated on my ex-husband.  I was completely honest with him. I had no secrets going into this relationship. He did eventually switch on his webcam and take a picture of himself so I knew whom I was talking to. We chatted online everyday that week. Tuesday we talked on the phone for the first time.  During the conversation I said to him, so are you going to ask me out or what? HAHA (yeah I can be bold).  He said, well, I was getting around to that.  We made plans to get together that coming Saturday, July 18, 2009 and go to the races in NH, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

It was on our second date (to this date, Monty will say that was not a date - we just met at the same place at the same time, but it wasn't a date - whatever!) We found out that we have known some of the same people for the last 20 + years.  He knew them better than I did because my life had taken me in a different direction, but it had brought me back around to this great group of people  It is true, everything happens for a reason.  Monty and I met at the right time, at the right place, for the right reason.

One of my favorite memories from dating was on our third date.  Monty will call it our second date.  We were at the drive-ins in Randolph watching who knows what. I remember the second movie was The Hangover, but the first movie was horrid.  We had his truck and the console was down between us.  We each had a soda in our respective cup holders and were holding holds (for the first time).  About half way through the movie he says fuck it.  He takes the sodas out of the cup holders and pulls the console up and pulls me over to him so I can snuggle in with his arm around me.  He had no idea he said “fuck it” out loud! It was so cute! 

Monty proposed on August 18, 2010, and we married October 1, 2011. Even though it rained on our wedding day it was beautiful!  A gorgeous fall wedding in Vermont in a covered bridge, bagpipes playing in the background thanks to my cousin Todd, it was just wonderful.

Monty joined a pre-made family as I have 2 sons.  I had asked him repeatedly as we were getting serious if he wanted children because I had already had my hysterectomy and was unable to have any more.  He said that he didn’t want any.  He had always known he didn’t want any of his own.  He always said he was scared of babies, because he didn’t know what they wanted.  I believed he would be a good dad, but he gets to skip that hard part of raising kids and gets the fun part of having grandchildren (someday).  Well, he didn’t skip it all because my boys were teenagers when we moved in together.

Monty is a very shy person.  He is very quiet until you get to know him. Some people think he is an asshole.  Oh he has a temper that is for sure! Unfortunately, life events are what usually cause people to be that way.  I’ve seen him get hurt time and time again by people that should be there for him.  When Monty loves, he loves with all his heart. And when he gets hurt, it hurts DEEP, and he isn’t one to forgive and forget.  It takes him a long time to heal.  If he opens up to you and break that bond, you have probably lost it forever. 

I feel extremely honored and lucky to have Monty as my husband, as my partner in life, as, as my soul mate and honestly my best friend. Through him I have learned what a true partnership is.  I can lean on him through thick and thin.  He has seen me at my worst and yet, there he is ready to help me back up. What do I do for him in return?  I push him.  I push him out of his comfort zone all the time.  I make him go dancing, I made him go on a cruise, and together we learned how to ride motorcycles!

Even as we were first dating everyone said we bickered like an old married couple.  We like to bicker.  We even hard-core fight from time to time.  But we always know that there is no one in this world that loves us more than each other. He truly makes my life better.

We will go into this bariatric surgery together. We both need it.  Monty was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in November 2009 and while it was under control for a while, lately his numbers aren’t so great.  He has last 30 pounds or so, and he has quit smoking (again), but this surgery will be the best thing for his diabetes and his over all health too. 

We look forward to this new phase in our life.  Our new thinner selves, riding our motorcycles and enjoying life!