Bullies if you don't know one, you are one!

Why is it so easy to make fun of fat people? Why is there a huge push to fat shame? Why do people feel so pushed to make fun of people that are different than themselves, whether it be because of the color of their skin, the size of their body, the ability of their body, or sexual or gender identity? Social media has become such a huge outlet for hatred. You can hide behind your computer screen and type any type of venom you want and it is okay.  People forget that when others read those words it hurts.

The “popular” kids bullied me in school. In particular one boy was wretched. He was horrible to everyone, not just me.  He passed away in a horrific motorcycle accident a few years after high school so one will never know if he would have ever learned the error of his ways.  Another boy was also pretty bad, and he and I have since made amends.  He has grown up and looked back at his ways, maybe because his children have been bullied, I am not sure, but I am glad that he and I had that conversation. 

I was picked on for several different things throughout growing up.  I was told I was fat.  I posted a picture in an earlier post.  When I graduated I weighed 114 pounds.  That is far from fat!  I was also picked on because my father was disabled.  Seriously.  My father was a disabled veteran.  He fought for this country, in war, in Korea, and unfortunately had surgery done by the VA that disabled him for life.  He walked with crutches and had a brace on his leg.  Instead of praising him, you picked on me. Yeah, real cool people. But, whatever, you all made me stronger, so thanks.

I just don’t understand why it is so easy to pick on other people.   I don’t understand why people don’t know any better. I just don’t get it. Didn’t their parents ever teach them if they didn’t have anything nice to say not to say anything at all?  Seriously.

There are people out there like Whitney Thore that is promoting #nobodyshame.  She has a show on TLC called My Big Fat Fabulous Life.  She has an illness called polycystic ovarian syndrome, which can cause excessive weight gain.  People do not understand that illnesses do cause weight gain.  She is also a dance teacher.  I haven’t watched very many of her shows, but she seems fabulous!  Recently I saw a post on Facebook where she said she lost over 100 pounds in a year only to gain it back.  She wondered why it was so easy to gain it back, and there is a study that says when you lose that much weight that quickly you trash your metabolism and when you are at the lower weight your body would require much lower calories than someone who is naturally that weight.  For example, if you are 150 pounds naturally you need 1200 calories to maintain that weight, but if you were 250 pounds and lost 100 pounds in the last year and now weigh 150 pounds you would need 850 calories to maintain that weight. (These numbers are not real – they are for example only).  This is why it is so easy to regain weight after dieting!!!!!!

Then there is the #noexcuses mom.  Maria Kang.  I was on her Facebook page for a while but had to leave because of all the hate.  If you weren’t stick thin with rock hard abs you were doing it wrong. They do not empower people there; they definitely shame, destroy, and degrade.  I was very disappointed. I really had hoped her page would be uplifting.

Why can’t we all lift each other up?  Why do we have to destroy each other?  Do we do it to make ourselves feel good?  I used to know some people that were really good at the backhanded compliments.  I have sense removed them from my life.  It isn’t easy removing these types of toxic people from your life, but it is necessary for your own well-being.